This essay is about what considerations foster home secretary may face in their profession and how they use themselves as a tool. We were interested in the family home secretaries as a profession and we found that this area is relatively unexplored. The essay is based on semi-structured interviews with ten family home secretaries from seven different municipalities. To interpret our results, we used Mead's theory of "Mind, Self and Society". Our paper shows that family secretaries are faced with a variety of considerations in the selection of foster homes. We have also presented several different criteria that foster secretaries put on families to enable them to become current foster home. All the family home secretary saw themselves as tools in the process to match children with foster homes, but it proved to be difficult for them to put this into words and describe how they used themselves. One of our research questions concern how experience affects their work. It turned out that the experience also gave answers to our other questions.